How Gratitude Shapes Our Brains and Our Season

By Dr. Sue Paul, Asbury Communities, Senior Director of Well-Being & Brain Health

This time of year, many of us naturally find ourselves thinking a little more about kindness and giving it, receiving it, and noticing it in others. The pace of life may pick up, but so do the small moments that remind us what matters: a shared laugh, a helping hand, or someone simply remembering to ask how we’re doing.

What we don’t always realize is that these moments of gratitude and generosity are not only emotionally meaningful, they’re biologically powerful. The brain responds to kindness in ways that support mood, connection, resilience, and even long-term health. And the wonderful thing? These benefits apply to every one of us, at every age.

Anytime you offer a bit of kindness (your time, your attention, your patience, or your support) your brain activates what researchers call a “generosity circuit.” It releases a combination of chemicals that help you feel more at ease, more connected, and more uplifted.

Even just thinking about doing something kind can spark this response. (Your brain is cheering you on before you even begin.)

These warm biochemical shifts are exactly the kinds of things that help us feel better, connect more, and experience more meaning, which also happen to mirror some of the gentle ideals behind EngAge Well at Asbury.

Gratitude works almost like a daily exercise for the brain. Research shows that noticing and reflecting on positive moments strengthens the areas responsible for empathy, calm, and emotional balance.

One simple practice: At the end of your day, remember one meaningful moment of kindness no matter how small. Let yourself feel it for a breath or two.

This small “pause” helps shift the brain toward steadiness and positivity, something many of us could use more of during the holiday bustle.

We sometimes think giving might drain us, but the truth is the opposite. Acts of generosity help regulate the nervous system, lower stress hormones, and calm the body’s “fight-or-flight” response.

You might notice:

· Your shoulders soften

· Your breathing slows

· You feel more grounded

· You sleep a little easier

Kindness is, in many ways, a form of self-care and one that also supports our ability to move better and feel steady in our bodies.

Something we often forget (especially during the holidays) is that giving shouldn’t only flow in one direction. Every person, no matter their age or ability, needs to feel needed and valued.

Inviting others to contribute can be a gift in itself. Try asking someone to:

· Share a favorite memory or recipe

· Help choose a gift

· Wrap a present with you

· Join you in planning a meal

· Offer advice

These moments reinforce identity, purpose, and belonging, and the foundations of emotional well-being and healthy aging.

Here are five gentle practices you can try, each offering a small lift:

1. Write a short, meaningful note to someone who made your year brighter.

2. Practice full attention listening during one conversation each day.

3. Help someone in a way that feels natural to you for a ride, a recipe, a moment of support.

4. Invite someone to help you, even with something simple.

5. End your day with one moment of gratitude–just one.

These practices touch all four areas of living well, moving comfortably, feeling emotionally balanced, staying connected, and finding meaning in everyday life.

Generosity and gratitude aren’t holiday extras; they’re deeply human practices that keep our communities emotionally and neurologically alive. They help us steady ourselves in stressful moments and celebrate what’s good in our lives.

When you feel that little spark after helping someone (or when someone helps you) remember that your brain is responding to purpose, connection, and care.

As we welcome a fresh year, it’s worth asking ourselves: How will you support your well-being physically, emotionally, socially, or meaningfully in the year ahead?

Wishing you a season filled with warmth, gratitude, and moments that make your brain and your heart light up.

(And I hope you’ll take a moment to finish that sentence in a way that feels true for you.)